sometimes it's really good to learn the art of being deaf at the right time..

a:'you are nervous! dun have to be nervous!'

b: 'when you are in, you got to play your part!' 

what the hell!! wat do you expect me to do when i am not prep for what i am suppose for? jus fit in the last min and expect me to meet your expectation? you think i can do wonders? for goodness sake!! pls think before you say!! People just don't see their own mistakes before pointing their fingers at someone else!

but i'm not going to care what you gonna say about me!!cos as long as there are somebody who knows the underlying truth and GOD knows.. you can say whatever you want to say!!

I DON'T CARE!!!!!!!

  Repeatedly, i was told that ' i dun wish to lose you', 'you are very important to me', 'you noe how much you mean to me', 'you noe how much i felt felt for you' etc...

  for the first time, i meet a guy who claims that he is so in love with me... is he for real?  i guess am being too skeptical at times.. but i am sort of more worried abt myself deviating from the path than him.  i had never assure him the way he does cos deep inside my heart, i duno can i really give as much as he does...

  although i cant give in my feelings as much as he does but i will have to do my part.  to maintain a r/s, there must be love, as this is the basis to everything.  i have to be responsible and commited, blah blah..... i felt extreme blessed but and not really happy... wat to do, i cant haf the best of both world....

  i still miss him so... though the frequency is getting lower but the image of him still appear very clearly in my mind whenever i think of him.  the smile on my face and the spark of my eyes still goes on whenever i think about the older days..

  hi hi to my beloved blog!!  it's the 2nd week of june 2008.  and here, i am bloggin from my workplc while listening to power 98 from the net.  am really to free till i do not noe wat to do so i decided to blog. 

  again, my plant is shutdown due to maintenance.  and this time, it's gg to be for at least 2 months..  year 2008 wasn't a good year start for my company.  the drug that i am working in, met up wif some hiccups that lead to low production; and due to the need to acute maintenance, my plant was in shut down mode.  and am gg on day shift very soon..

  becos of this, the cycle of my work repeated again; to go on 5 days work.  i hate it and i duno wat to do wif weekend off.  although, i had some normal life but then again, the ppl that i spend most of my time wif, will not be affected in any sense at all.

  finally, i went for a vacation in may this year.  it's a 9 days stay in perth, australia.  this is the first time i went to an ang-moh country.  i was about to start getting used to the plc, weather etc and the next moment i realised, am flying back to sgp.  i love the plc, it's so laid-back, quiet and peaceful.  i think it's a good place for relaxation.  no wonder, alot of ang-mohs said that sgp is a stressful, fast-paced country. i really see and feel wif my own eyes.  it's hell lot of different.

  it's gpin to be 3 months soon.  i started to feel the different.  and worst of all, am started to feel confused.  confused as in i do not know wat to do and say in future wif him.  i admit that i am selfish in some ways or another but who doesn't?  who does not want to own or keep things that he likes or favors him?  but the fact of life is: you cant have both in one hands. 

  am still misses him much though.. and life is not as easy as before.. in the past, am always on the waiting motion but now i cant, not becos i dun want to. i jus think that responsibility comes before feel.  how long can we go on wif this kinda life?